At a university, a corrupt professor is giving an oral exam on World War II. The first student come in and the professor asks him for his lecture notes. The student gives them to the professor, and the professor finds 500 euros inside. He looks at the student with satisfaction and says: "When did World War II start?" "1939", the student says. "Excellent!" says the professor. "Congratulations, you passed the exam." The second student comes in and the professor also asks to see

Bobby and Rudy are eating cakes. There are two pieces left, and Bobby takes the bigger one. Rudy frowns and says: "How could you take the bigger piece?" Bobby says: "Which one would you have taken?" "Well, the smaller one! That's the polite thing to do.", says Rudy. "So what's the problem then? It's the one you got.", Bobby replies.

Where does a 200-pound mouse sleep? Wherever it wants.

Two guys rob a bank. After a wild chase with the police, they finally manage to reach their hideout. Completely exhausted, they throw their bags on the floor and both collapse on the couch. After a while, one of them says: "Shall we count the money or wait for the TV news...?"

Early in the morning at the bus station, the bus was about to close its doors and leave. Some passengers saw a woman running after the bus and shouting: "Stop the bus! Stop the bus, please! I'm going to be late for work!" Wanting to do a good deed, they asked the driver to wait for the woman. So the bus driver waits for her as she rushes onto the bus, breathing heavily: "Thank you all so much! You saved me, I thought I was going to be late for work! And now... let me see your

A man comes to a psychiatrist, and the psychiatrist asks him: "What seems to be the problem?" "Well, doctor, I have these very strange dreams about squirrels playing soccer. At first it wasn't that often, but now it's every night, and besides... I've been thinking about it during the day too, and it really bothers me." "Okay," said the doctor, "we have good medicines for such things these days. Take the medicine that I'm going to prescribe for you for a month, and then come t

Two college girls were in the dormitory talking about what to cook for dinner. "We could cook some sausages," said the first one. "Okay, I like sausages, but I've never cooked them. Is it just to dip them in hot water?" "Yes," said the first one. "But you have to make sure to cut off both ends first. About a centimeter long." "Okay," said the second one. "I didn't know about that. And why does one have to do that?" she asked. "I don't know, but my mom always did that, and she

Two babies are talking in the maternity ward. "Hey, are you a boy or a girl?" asked the first baby. "I don't know. How do you know?" asked the second baby curiously. "Lift your legs up so I can see," said the first. So the second baby did that. "Yes, you're definitely a girl," said the knowledgeable baby. "How do you know?" "You're wearing pink socks."

A polar bear mother was talking to her son while they were roaming around the polar environment. "Mom?" "Yes, son?" "Are you a real polar bear?" "Yes, son, I am.", his mother replied. "And dad... is he a real polar bear too?", the little polar bear asked. "Yes, son, your dad is a real polar bear too." "And your mom, is she a 100% polar bear too?", the little polar bear asked again. "Yes, son, your grandma is a real polar bear too.", the mother replied patiently. "And grandpa.