One day the teacher was talking to her students about how they would design the classroom. Little Anna says: "I would paint the walls white and put flowers on them so we feel like we are in nature." Little John says, "I would put some math exercises on the wall. I think that would be cool." Little Peter was playing with his pencil and didn't seem interested in the subject at all, so the teacher went up to him and asked: "Peter, how would you have designed our classroom?" Litt

A man comes to a psychiatrist because of his chicken phobia. The psychiatrist tells him, "Yes, we can treat all kinds of phobias, but it takes a little longer and you have to stay in our clinic for about three months." The patient agrees, so the doctor starts daily psychotherapy. After two months, there seems to be progress. The doctor says, "Okay, you've been at our clinic for two months now and I think you're ready to go for a walk by yourself, near the clinic." The patient

One day, a tourist came to a town where the people had a reputation for being very stingy. It was a very nice town, however, so he decided to take a walk along the harbor. While he was walking, he saw a boy fall into the water. He jumped in without hesitation and saved the boy. Completely soaked, he went into a nearby pub to change. The people there were very nice to him, offered him a free beer and praised him for his quick reaction. So the man concluded that there was no tr

At a university, a corrupt professor is giving an oral exam on World War II. The first student come in and the professor asks him for his lecture notes. The student gives them to the professor, and the professor finds 500 euros inside. He looks at the student with satisfaction and says: "When did World War II start?" "1939", the student says. "Excellent!" says the professor. "Congratulations, you passed the exam." The second student comes in and the professor also asks to see

Bobby and Rudy are eating cakes. There are two pieces left, and Bobby takes the bigger one. Rudy frowns and says: "How could you take the bigger piece?" Bobby says: "Which one would you have taken?" "Well, the smaller one! That's the polite thing to do.", says Rudy. "So what's the problem then? It's the one you got.", Bobby replies.

Where does a 200-pound mouse sleep? Wherever it wants.

Two guys rob a bank. After a wild chase with the police, they finally manage to reach their hideout. Completely exhausted, they throw their bags on the floor and both collapse on the couch. After a while, one of them says: "Shall we count the money or wait for the TV news...?"

Early in the morning at the bus station, the bus was about to close its doors and leave. Some passengers saw a woman running after the bus and shouting: "Stop the bus! Stop the bus, please! I'm going to be late for work!" Wanting to do a good deed, they asked the driver to wait for the woman. So the bus driver waits for her as she rushes onto the bus, breathing heavily: "Thank you all so much! You saved me, I thought I was going to be late for work! And now... let me see your

A man comes to a psychiatrist, and the psychiatrist asks him: "What seems to be the problem?" "Well, doctor, I have these very strange dreams about squirrels playing soccer. At first it wasn't that often, but now it's every night, and besides... I've been thinking about it during the day too, and it really bothers me." "Okay," said the doctor, "we have good medicines for such things these days. Take the medicine that I'm going to prescribe for you for a month, and then come t

Two college girls were in the dormitory talking about what to cook for dinner. "We could cook some sausages," said the first one. "Okay, I like sausages, but I've never cooked them. Is it just to dip them in hot water?" "Yes," said the first one. "But you have to make sure to cut off both ends first. About a centimeter long." "Okay," said the second one. "I didn't know about that. And why does one have to do that?" she asked. "I don't know, but my mom always did that, and she

Two babies are talking in the maternity ward. "Hey, are you a boy or a girl?" asked the first baby. "I don't know. How do you know?" asked the second baby curiously. "Lift your legs up so I can see," said the first. So the second baby did that. "Yes, you're definitely a girl," said the knowledgeable baby. "How do you know?" "You're wearing pink socks."

A polar bear mother was talking to her son while they were roaming around the polar environment. "Mom?" "Yes, son?" "Are you a real polar bear?" "Yes, son, I am.", his mother replied. "And dad... is he a real polar bear too?", the little polar bear asked. "Yes, son, your dad is a real polar bear too." "And your mom, is she a 100% polar bear too?", the little polar bear asked again. "Yes, son, your grandma is a real polar bear too.", the mother replied patiently. "And grandpa.

After dying, a man goes to heaven. Saint Peter greets him and starts showing him around: "Welcome! Follow me... here to my right we have Buddhists, and to my left are Protestants, over there are Muslims, and Hindus are right next to them..." Then after awhile they came to a big thick wall and Saint Peter said: "Now I must ask you to be quiet." When they passed the wall, Saint Peter started talking again, so the man asked him: "Why did we have to be quiet there?" Saint Peter r

Bobby and Rudy robbed the post office. Each took a bag and they separated. A few months later when they met, Bobby asks Rudy: "What was in your bag?" "About half a million euros. I bought a house, a car... And in yours?" "Ah... a bag full of bills... I'm paying little by little, as much as I can."

Every night, for a few days now, Bobby and Rudy have been stealing chickens. The owner noticed that his chickens were missing, so he decided to wait for the thieves. In the evening, he took a spade handle and hid in the chicken coop. After a while, Bobby and Rudy arrive. "Rudy, you keep watch, and I'll get the chickens," says Bobby. Bobby goes into the chicken coop, but the owner hits him across the teeth with the spade handle. Shocked by the pain, Bobby comes out with his ha